


Egbert Holiday Party

by kayforpay



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Creampie, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Holiday Sweaters, Multiple Orgasms, Non-Denominational Holiday Party, Open Marriage, Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex, epilogue non-compliant, fancy santas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:13:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21905770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayforpay/pseuds/kayforpay
Summary: Considering that John wasn't really sure what day of the month it was, or really even when Hanuka was, it seemed like a better idea just to have a non-denominational party with all his friends instead! Not like anyone had anything else going on.
Relationships: John Egbert/Rose Lalonde, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam (mentioned)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33





	Egbert Holiday Party

**Author's Note:**

> hi! just a small thing: I'm not Jewish, and I didn't even grow up with many Jewish people around me, so I got my information from websites run by members of the Jewish community. if I've said anything wrong, I apologize. I did my best, and I hope I've done well, but I just can't know every detail of something I haven't lived. I was aiming for a description of humanist Jewish. I hope it's good. thanks!

“I’m not gonna be lazy and just light all of them on the same night. I think my dad would be mad at me if I did that. And like, doing it alone is super depressing. I’d just be thinking about my dad.” John said, arranging another of the simply ridiculous amount of fancy Santa figurines that Dirk had loaned him on the coffee table. In the window, he had set up his family Menorah, and it had candles in it, but he wasn’t looking at it. Instead, he was facing Jade, who was stringing red and green garlands haphazardly across the TV stand. “Plus, Dave would probably make a joke, and that feels kind of shitty. I don’t even know when Passover was. Or what day of the week it would be, like, now.”

Jade shrugged her shoulders, finishing with her decoration after another few seconds, and turning to the next wall, which only featured pictures of John as a child. It wasn’t easy to replicate his exact house from before the game, but he had. Even if he kind of wished he hadn’t, seeing all of the pictures of himself and the weird writing he’d done in his sleep.

His ecto-cousin sighed a little, and turned to face him. “I know, it’s just weird. All I know about Christmas came from movies or Dave. And I miss Hanukah.” She paused, turning one of the fancy Santas. “But I do kind of love the decorations. We should start lighting them tomorrow. At least until we can figure out the actual calendar, I guess? Time is so stupid and weird.” She shook her head, and then grabbed a handful of tinsel to throw on a small, plastic tree John had found sitting in the crawlspace of his house when he remade it.

“Time is super fucked up, but I think it’s fine. We’ll catch up eventually. Or die eventually. Besides, we haven’t all hung out in a while. I’m starting to miss being psychoanalyzed by the blondes, y’know? Like, that’s how they show love, instead of just saying something like that.” He said, looking out the window. “Thanks for setting up with me, Jade. Jake still keeps calling me ‘son’ and that’s way too weird for me right now.”

Jade had leaned the tree, missing it’s stand, against the wall, and looked over her shoulder as it slid loudly to the floor. “At least he doesn’t call you ‘grandma’. I used to be so lonely, but my Pop-Pop kind of sucks. And you’re welcome. You said if I helped I could punch Dave if he said something stupid, so it’s worth it for me!” She smiled, her doggy ears twitching happily in her hair, and John had a moment to worry he might have said that too easily.

Well, Dave could probably take a punch.

Between them, though mostly Jade, they put away the decorations and scads of fancy Santas that didn’t get used, and put out the food items they’d been able to put together. Since Dad hadn’t really cooked so much as he baked and Jade had lived on a raw vegan diet for most of her life, they didn’t really excel at much foods other than hor’dourves, so it was pretty convenient for them. After that, Jade, as she put it, “only had to rearrange space in another timeline so there was always eggnog in your fridge”, and they were able to put that out.

Although it was his party, John already felt kind of tired of it, and a little lonely for Dad. It wasn’t the same loneliness as when it first sunk in that he was gone, but it was still there, and it only lifted when his best friends walked through the door without knocking. Rose was trailed closely by a surprisingly festive Kanaya, and Dave was toting a sack that looked like it was made from what used to be his cape.

“Hey Egbert, where can I put this stuff?” He asked, leaning his impassive face to one side to gesture to the sack with his head. “I got everyone some sick ass presents and you’re all going to be begging for my knob when you open them, but they’re heavy as fuck and I’m looking at those pigs in a blanket.”

As Dave spoke, John took the sack from his hands, and let him wander through the doorway into the kitchen to get the snacks he was looking at. “Hi Rose, hi Kanaya. Thanks for coming. I didn’t get any presents, since it was all last minute. And I don’t think anything I would get would be better than Dave’s weird red sack.” He dropped said sack haphazardly onto the floor near the door when he said it, understanding the uncomfortable double entendre just as he heard himself say it.

“On Alternia, most important gifts were only exchanged within quadrants or very close friendships, so I’m more comfortable this way.” Kanaya said, bending her lanky body to fit in the doorway behind her relatively short wife. “And being here to celebrate something with my friends when Rose assures me that the large man cannot enter our hive anymore is also a welcome present.”

Rose hung her coat on the hook inside the door, and turned to face John with a nonplussed expression, despite how he was looking at her and her wife. “Santa, apparently, sounds like a horror story to trolls. She actually liked the Krampus better.” Rose said, and then pulled a small box from the pocket of her skirt to offer to John.

John looked at the box for a second, and while he untied the slim purple ribbon holding the lid on, Kanaya explained that the concept of an all-knowing monster who punishes the wicked seemed like just a new model of drone, as opposed to some kind of god-troll who wants to flirt with everyone, ever, by giving them either good or shitty gifts. Inside the box was a sprig of a plant, also tied with a purple ribbon. “What is this?” 

“Mistletoe. I asked Roxy to make it for me.” Rose said, and then corrected herself. “I told Roxy you were planning a holiday gathering and she said she should put up some mistletoe to ‘mack on the hotties’, but I did put it in the box.”

He laughed a little bit, picking the sprig up out of the box to look it over and leading the ladies into his living room further, until he was close enough to the doorway into the hall that he could turn to Kanaya, the tallest one there. “Would you just hook this over the hanger thing there? Yeah. Thank you.” She took it, and hooked the ribbon over it, so the sprig hung down a couple inches from the edge of the doorway.

The next to arrive were Roxy and Calliope, who brought a bowl of candy and meat products, mixed, followed by Jane and then Jake, who each separately had a bottle of some kind of gross-smelling liquor with them. After John had greeted everyone and they had awkwardly remembered that two of their friends were in recovery from alcohol addictions and gotten permission from them to drink, anyway, he walked to the couch.

As he sat down at one end, Dirk seemingly materialized in the middle, holding yet another fancy Santa in his arms like a newborn, his face completely void of emotion. “I fucking love Christmas, Egbert. This is the best time of the month.” Even though his voice was naturally a bit monotone, John could tell he was being sincere, or at the very least presumed that he was.

Dirk stood and walked to a row of fancy Santas, and added his new one, admiring his work as though he had personally crafted it from wood and bits of felt, and Roxy laughed. “He used to celebrate this like, once a month. He just really likes the Santas. Are the snacks free game or like, do I have to wait?” John explained that no, she didn’t have to wait, and was left on the couch again. He gave it another few minutes before deciding to get things going.

“I’m glad everyone could come! I’ve missed you guys.” He said, standing up on his coffee table to be mostly visible over the heads. “Karkat and Terezi said they might come, and they were gonna invite the other trolls, but we can get started now.  Chag sameach!”

When only Jade whooped, he cleared his throat a little.

“Happy holiday!”

Everyone else whooped, then, and he stepped off the table to play some music. Since John wasn’t even a usual celebrator of the holiday, and most Christmas music was entirely unlistenable at the best of times, he just played the kind of terrible conglomeration of his and his friends’ recovered music libraries, and skipped until he found something that seemed chill. Then, it was time to schmooze. 

As he tried to decide a direction to travel through his own house, he saw Jade teasing Jake and Jane for not knowing even just that much Hebrew, and he saw Dave joining Dirk in his deeply focused reorganizing of the fancy Santas. Calliope was holding her own bowl and munching from it happily, with Roxy sitting on her lap and making interjections to Jade’s conversation. Rose was similarly watching the room, while Kanaya leaned against the wall beside her with her phone in her hands, no doubt bothering her other friends to come sooner. John felt a little bad for having insisted that Rose bring her wife as a date, now that he actually thought about what that meant; she was totally out of her element here, in a party celebrating something distinctly non-Alternian.

Just as he was worried enough to head towards her to try and apologize somehow, the door burst open to reveal Terezi, carrying a similar red sack to the one Dave had brought, followed by Karkat, who seemed a little bit appalled at the color, and Vriska, who looked disinterested in the entire affair. Terezi’s bag set down with a kind of wet thud. Kanaya brightened at their arrival, and swept through the room like she wasn’t closing in on seven feet tall, and greeted them all with some Alternian clicking and chirps. He waved over at the trolls, and was ignored, and so he turned his attention back to his friends, namely Jane, who was calling him over.

“John, I can’t believe you don’t have even a single cake set out.” She said, playfully, and handed him a small mug of eggnog. “How is it a party without cake? Or pie, I guess.”

He took a sip of his nog, and shrugged. “I don’t like cake. Plus, who would blow out the candles? Like, how do you decide when it’s time for cake if there’s no dinner?” As he spoke, he glanced over Jane’s shoulder, which was easy with how much taller than her he was, and saw Terezi digging out gifts from her bag. “Oh, did you bring presents? I didn’t remember to get anyone anything.”

“I brought some meat.” She said, simply, and Karkat nodded decisively. “Karkat said your weird human parties usually only had a little food, and I’m hungry.”

Even so, the pieces of some unknown animal were wrapped in gift paper. Or maybe that was Alternian style butcher paper? He had no way of knowing. “Just don’t burn anything, I guess.” He watched her, trailed by the other trolls, go into the kitchen, and took another swig of his eggnog.

The coffee table had a punch bowl full of the nog, so he just leaned over and got another cup, because it was good as hell. As he worked on his second cup, because he realized that he still wasn’t really a “party guy”, even at his own event, he watched the Striders getting more energetic about moving the fancy Santas around the room. They were starting to look like streaks of orange and red, and the only thing to really be sure of what they were doing was the movement of the Santas. And the apparent addition of some. Did he have a fishing Santa before, or was that one new? Would he just have a pile of figurines of a character that wasn’t even related to his own religion?

“I’m glad you liked the recipe, John!” Jane said, coming back to him as she sent Jake off to look at the snacks for himself, instead of shyly standing against the wall beside the door. “I don’t know a lot of recipes for anything but cakes, but I used to make this every year for the holiday parties.”

He smiled, and laughed a little bit. “It’s really good! It’s almost exactly like my dad used to make me, he said it was my nana’s recipe. I guess that’s another thing our timelines have in common. I didn’t really know what to make for this, and I couldn’t get any geld from the alchemizer without it tasting like metal, so I’m glad you had this.” It stung a little less, actually, that his Dad wasn’t there to celebrate, and he was sure it hurt for Jane not to have her own Dad with her. “Uh, Jade was thinking, we might all get together tomorrow and start lighting the menorah. Until we can figure out the calendar, at least.”

Jake, arriving with a plate stacked high with pigs in a blanket, almost bounced all of them off his plate when he straightened up, excited grin on his face. “I’d go! I remember lighting the one at home with my grandma, it was my favorite part. Even more than the presents, it was just nice to say the blessings together, you know? I think it’s a spectacular idea, John! Count me in.” He waved a snack in one hand as he spoke, and then took a bite.

“It’s not my idea at all, it’s Jade. I think, uh. I think we’re all kind of lonely, here in the new world, so it’s just nice to have stuff like that. I can’t have a bar mitzvah, but I think being able to keep lighting the menorah and stuff is enough.” He took another sip, and found his cup empty again, so he filled it as he talked. “Enough to not be so singled out, all the time. Like when Kanaya had that troll party for everyone, Quadrants’ Day? This party is cool, but I… I don’t know. I want to hang out with you guys.”

Jane nodded in agreement, Jake said “rah-rah!” through a mouthful of food, and John felt an invisible weight lift off his shoulders at their acceptance of the invitation; not that he was particularly concerned they wouldn’t want to come, but something about having to share the idea made him tense. The music got a little louder, and the smell of cooked meat started to waft out of the kitchen and into the rest of the house, and he let that feeling of relaxation spread through his limbs, down his back, until he was gently swaying to the music as it played.

Dave and Dirk took a break from the Santas to harass the trolls in the kitchen, though Kanaya had already made her way back into the living room, where she delicately took Rose’s spot when her wife stood up to peruse. She walked over to Jade, and John excused himself to go and talk to the girls, floating a few inches above the ground, or at least feeling like he was.

“Hey, Jade, Rose. Jane and Jake said they’d come light the menorah with us tomorrow, so just like, let us know if you want it here or anything.” He said, and Jade’s smile got more easy; maybe she was worried about it too. “Rose, are you having a good time? I don’t really know how to throw parties.”

She sipped her cup of water and shrugged. “I’m having fun, John. I just like seeing everyone together, but I don’t have much to add to the festivities right now. Halloween was always a lot easier for me to celebrate, since everyone likes a scary story.”

Jade’s ears perked. “You can tell a scary story tonight, too! It’s only  _ barely  _ Christmas-y, and we’re gonna celebrate Hanukah too, so it’s not like it’s a big deal.” She said, idly swishing her skirt around her legs and looking excited for it.

“Yeah! And your stories are always really good. Even if I don’t understand everything you say in them, it’s fun to listen to.” He said, finishing his nog with a swig and setting his cup down. He felt a little warm, but not terribly, and Rose was smiling that pleasant smile she had, that always looked just a little detached. “Why not just do what people like?”

Rose tilted her head to the side, and made an exaggerated thinking noise, and with the hand not holding her glass pulled out a small notebook. “Well, I might have written something last night, anyway. Just to keep myself busy, of course, it isn’t ready to print, but I’d be happy to share it.” John and Jade both nodded, and then had to fix their slipping glasses, and Rose laughed a little bit. “Maybe later, when everyone is more settled.”

“Yeah, that’s good. I can’t wait, I bet it’s got like, a creepy old wizard who eats children, or something. Like the families sell them for coal and the wizard eats them.” John said, and Rose blinked a few times, glancing down at the notebook in her hand before putting it back in her pocket. “It’s gonna be good.”

She turned her head to look back at Kanaya, who was laughing happily but paused to give a thumbs-up (maybe the trolls weren’t so comfortable with this?), and then looked back. “We’ll see. Try and take it easy on the eggnog, though. Jane put a bunch of booze into it.” Rose was still smiling calmly, but John felt his stomach flip.

“What? Oh my god, Rose, I’m so sorry, I didn’t even think when I saw them come in with it! I shouldn’t have let them do that, I’m so, so sorry!” He said, taking her shoulders and trying to convey sincerity to her. “You and Roxy, that was so rude of me, I didn’t even think about it.”

Patting at his chest, Rose chuckled. “John, no, John. Listen, it’s okay. Jane talked to both of us before she even decided to bring it. We’re okay. We know what it is, and we’re doing well. And if one of us has any issues…” She looked uncomfortable talking about her addiction so plainly, but powered on. “If we need to, Kanaya said she would get rid of it for us, and we know no one here would complain about it. It’s alright. Just don’t get too drunk. I need to test out the mistletoe.” She chuckled again, letting herself look more calm, and John made his face smile.

“Okay. Just let me know if anything’s wrong. I don’t want it to have to be an issue for either of you. You’re my friends, and your recovery is super important to me.” Jade had wandered off, and was flipping through the songs, and he let go of Rose’s shoulders. “And tell me stuff! I don’t want to be that guy who doesn’t know anything.”

She nodded some more, but walked away from him, still smiling, and back to her wife. John watched for a second as she sat on the arm of the couch and whispered into Kanaya’s ear, but then Jade picked a song and grabbed his arm to drag him to the impromptu dancefloor that was his living room with the coffee table pushed in closer to the couch. Even if he still felt bad about having completely forgotten his friends’ struggles to get sober and take care of themselves, he did want to dance, and after a few minutes of dancing, he didn’t feel so bad.

Partially because Roxy joined them, and she laughed, not unkindly, at John’s terrible dancing, and looped her arm around his shoulders to spin with him. Time passed in a blur of songs and different people dancing around him, occasionally with him; Jake threatening to teach him to mamba and then dipping him almost to the floor, Terezi standing on his feet and insisting he dance with her while also telling him, again, it wasn’t the spades romance, Jade picking him up bodily to spin him around and then dropping him on his ass.

That was when he decided to take a break, laughing on the floor and a little bit sweaty. He fell back to lay down, chuckling, and closed his eyes against the low, multicolored lights strung around the bannister and windows. After a few minutes, a shadow settled over him, and then someone with cold hands was patting his face. “John, get off the floor before someone steps on you. Dave just questioned the placement of the green Santa and Dirk is looking antsy.” It was Rose, her hair falling around her face while she crouched to look at him.

He sat up, and realized she had taken his glasses off of him. He could see well enough to follow her to stand in the doorway by the couch, and watched her a little dreamily as she wiped the eyelash and eyelid oil off of the lenses for him before handing them over. Even if her hands were always kind of cold, they were still pretty, especially since Kanaya seemed to really enjoy doing her nailpolish. He took them back with a soft thanks, and looked around to see most everyone sitting somewhere, chatting and looking calm. It was nice, and he realized that it didn’t even sting, not seeing his Dad or everyone he knew. It wasn’t the same, but it was still good, and maybe better for being different, for such a different group of people.

“John, you know some Christmas traditions, right?” Rose asked, leaned on the other side of the doorway from him, so her legs were almost touching his.

“I mean, I watched TV, so yeah. Why? Did I forget something?” She smelled like perfume, but he couldn’t guess what kind. It was nice. “I’m not making a turkey, so don’t get your hopes up.”

Rose snorted a laugh, rolling her eyes. “I wouldn’t ask you to. I don’t want to get salmonella when we don’t know how to make antibiotics yet. I mentioned it because of where we’re standing.” As she said this, both John and her looked up at the ceiling, and more immediately at the sprig of mistletoe hanging by a slim purple ribbon there.

“Oh, I, uh. I forgot about it. I guess you have to kiss me, right?” He asked, leaning down to be at her level. “As long as your wife won’t get upset at me.”

John turned his head so his cheek was facing Rose, and closed his eyes with a little smile. It was nice, the relaxed, fun way everyone was talking. The game had taken too much for them not to have fun now and then. “Kanaya gave me express permission to kiss you, don’t worry.” Rose said, her voice closer than John had anticipated, and before he could quite react, his head was turned and he was being kissed right on the mouth.

He gasped, blinking, and Rose linked her fingers behind his head to hold him still, her head tilting to one side slightly to draw him into a deeper kiss while his friends whooped a little. Even Kanaya! She didn’t seem upset at all, just maybe a little flushed under her rainbow drinker glow, so he closed his eyes again and kissed back. Why not lean into it? His head was only slightly fuzzy, and Rose smelled good, and her mouth was soft. So were her hips, when he rested his hands on them, drawing her in closer. After a few seconds their moment wasn’t interesting anymore, and everyone seemed to return to their conversations, though he did hear Jade mumbling a little bit in their direction.

Nothing else really broke through the slight haze that came with Rose shoving her tongue into his mouth, and the fact that he actually really liked that, even with her wife seeming to loom a little nearer from the other side of the room. Nothing else was as important as the taste of Rose’s lipstick, the smell of her hair and the curl of her fingers in the hair at the back of his head.

One of her hands moved down, to the back of his neck, and then skirted over his shoulder to his chest, where she pushed at him ever so gently. “John, hold on.” Even before she spoke, he was standing back, even starting to take a step, but she held the back of his neck. “Can I stay the night?” Her cheeks were flushed, and he felt himself go hot as he caught up to what she was asking.

“Yeah. I mean, uh, you and Kanaya are good, right?” He tentatively put his hand back on her hip, and she stepped in closer to him, smiling enough that her dimples showed. “As long as it’s fine with your wife, then yeah! We never really had any sleepovers, uh, when we were kids, right?”

She laughed, softly, and draped her other arm around his shoulders. “Well, we lived on opposite sides of the country. It would have been pretty hard to commute that far in a school week. I’ve talked to Kanaya and she’s given me her blessing, so. Show me to your room. I think everyone out here will be fine on their own, don’t you?” As she spoke, they both looked back into the room of their friends, and the trolls were grudgingly sharing their meat while Roxy seemed to be setting up a pile of fancy Santas to bowl over, and no one was paying too much attention to them.

Aside from Kanaya, giving the most stiff-looking thumbs up he’d ever seen. Her smile was genuine, so maybe it just wasn’t a troll thing to do? How would he know, anyway?

“Yeah, uh. I moved into this one, down here. Since it’s bigger, and, you know, s-so is the bed.” His face felt hot, mentioning that so specifically. Like, obviously, they didn’t  _ have  _ to have sex, but it really did feel like it was headed that way. Unless he was reading it wrong, and she was tired? God, he didn’t have enough experience with this. “I mean, unless you wanted to stay over in another room. Rose, look.” He gently lead her with an arm around her shoulders to stand just a little out of earshot of their friends. “Rose, is this a sex thing? Like, I’m fine if we’re not doing that, I just need to know if you need me to get out some more blankets for you and Kanaya. I want to be sure, so we don’t have anything weird.”

Rose laughed, even as her cheeks colored a little, and she looked away from him to cover her mouth while she regained her composure. Her other hand rested on his chest, and she looked almost endeared when she spoke again. “Yes, John, it is a sex thing. Definitely. If you’re down, that’s why I’ve been kissing you like this. And that’s why I want to go to bed with you. Thank you for asking, but it’s not going to be weird, unless you keep asking that way. If I want to stop, I will stop you. You know I can.” She said, and then leaned up, her breasts against his chest, and kissed his chin.

“Okay, yeah.” He laughed a little, too, and leaned down to kiss her again. Emboldened by her being, thankfully, encouraging to him even when he had to ask her so bluntly, he bent at the knees and scooped her up under her thighs. She laughed into their kiss, looped her arms around his shoulders and hooked her ankles behind his back so she was effectively hanging from his hips. Rose wasn’t heavy at all, so he didn’t have any trouble carrying her down the hall like that. “Can you get the door?”

She pulled him back into a kiss and reached behind her when her back pressed to the door, but took a few minutes for her to actually grab the door’s handle. In that time, John managed to slide a hand up the front of her shirt, and she rewarded him by tightening her legs around his hips to grind against him. John stumbled a few steps when she did get the door open, and they laughed as he flopped onto his back on the bed so she could push him down and push his shirt up.

While she fondled his chest, John squirmed out of his shirt properly, leaving it to sit in a festive lump on the floor, and then awkwardly put his hands at his sides. “How long have you and Kanaya been swingers, Rose?” As he spoke, she sat back just enough to put a little pressure and add a little friction against his erection, and peeled her shirt off.

“Swingers have sex with other married couples. If anything, you’re my mistress now. Help me unlatch this.” She said, pulling his hands up to the back of her lacy black bra. It was cute, actually, and so was she, and now that he really took a moment to look at her, he enjoyed the view. Then he unhooked it, and pulled it off of her arms. “But in a friendly way. Or something. You don’t have to ask before doing anything, John. I promise, I’ll tell you if I get uncomfortable.”

Instinctively, he held up a pinky finger, and she hooked hers through it. Once that was done, he actually felt much better, and flipped them over to get her on her back, so he could kiss her and feel her up without having to strain his own back so much. He kneeled at the edge of the bed, his mouth trailing down her neck, and groped her with both hands, pleased at the light moans she let out when he pinched her nipples. He leaned on his elbows over her, which pressed his face into her chest a little bit, and half-slid onto the floor on his knees, between her legs. 

First, he had to unbutton her pants, and then just pull them down, narrowly avoiding being kicked in the head when she helped. Then, he had to take a minute to tease her about the kitten pattern on her panties, but did have to agree that they were very cute kittens when she retaliated with the facts. And finally, he pushed her legs open some more and leaned in to the space between them, pressing his mouth flat against the slight damp spot on her panties where she was wet already.

Rose’s thighs twitched, and she half-giggled through saying he could just take her underwear off, too. He knew that, so he just shrugged, and pushed a little closer, humming against her. Maybe he was still a little shy at first, but this wasn’t so bad, actually. She had a hand in his hair and was physically moving his head around until he was doing it the way she wanted him to, and using her other hand to shove her panties out of the way, again nearly kicking John in the face as she did. With them off, he could bring both hands up to spread her open and close his lips around her clit, and peek up at her as she sat up on an elbow.

The hand in his hair slid down to pluck his glasses off his face, and he watched her toss them vaguely in the direction of his nightstand, and he stopped paying attention to them after that, much more concerned with sealing his lips around her clit and sucking.  _ This  _ is something he had some amount of knowledge about, if only because Davesprite had refused to stop telling him every detail of the apparently vast porn archives in the SBurb databases.

Despite not having wanted to learn about it, Rose seemed to think he was doing a good job, with the way her thighs were pressing against the sides of his head and how she was twitching against his mouth. It tasted different than he’d expected, not that he really expected much of a flavor; by the time he was old enough to be interested in trying this with Jade, they kind of knew they were related, and then Davesprite was around, anyway, and Davesprite was completely different than this.

He hummed, sliding his hands up Rose’s front to cup her breasts, looking up blurrily at her while she dropped her head back. Move the tongue, yeah, he had this in the bag, this was fine. Some people didn’t like penetration, was Rose one? She said she would stop him, so he decided to test it out, pushing her thigh away from his head to give himself space to slide two fingers through her folds, and then begin to press them in when she didn’t stop him. She was even warmer, inside, and she sighed gently, laying herself flat to stuff a pillow under her hips. That seemed like a good sign, so John focused on that.

“Ah, uh, curl them up, like, right th-there!” Rose gasped, her hips jerking forward, and John pressed his curled fingertips up against that same spot. “Y-yeah, fuck, keep doing that and moving your tongue.”

Yeah, he could keep doing all of that! Especially with the way Rose sounded when she said it, all breathy and high-pitched. She was  _ cute  _ like this, and he found himself watching her while he worked, his focus split between the rise and fall of her chest while her hands found her own breasts and the movement of his hand and tongue. When he had a good rhythm down, he took his other hand back and slipped it under the band of his boxers to wrap around the base of his cock, now fully hard, and stroke it slowly.

In the front room, the music was still playing loud enough to cover up Rose’s moans, but it also covered up any possible conversations, making it impossible to tell who might still be there. Not that it mattered much, John got his boxers pushed out of the way and started stroking himself in earnest before long. On the bed, Rose shivered, her thighs again squishing at John’s head and making it harder to thrust his fingers inside of her, but he kept it up, humming as he had to adjust his mouth to keep up with the twitching of her hips.

“Fuck, J-John, fffffmmmmm, fuck!” Rose whined, flattening out on the bed with her toes pointed straight out, and he hummed again, moving his hand hard enough that he was kind of knocking himself in the face with each inward thrust, but from the way she was twitching around his fingers he knew better than to stop. She sat straight up and gasped, her knees bending sharply and pressing her calves against John’s back, and her hair falling messily in her face from how she curled over him, pulling at his hair weakly. “O-okay, okay, uh, John, stop. When did you learn that?”

She pulled again, but he was already leaning back, smiling up at her and wiping his hand on the blanket. “I mean, Davesprite just told me about it when I was on the ship with Jade. I never tried it before, I was just doing what you told me to.” His other hand stilled, because it felt weird to be jerking off while talking to his friend like that, even if she was still naked and everything.

“That is about all it takes, I suppose. I also wasn’t expecting you to just keep it up until I came, you know. This is mutual.” She said, messing up his hair some more with half a noogie. She looked at the door where the music was still softly filtering in, and then back to John. “I can promise I’m not as good at sucking dick as I should be, but if you’re still down, we can keep going.”

He stood up to kneel on the edge of the bed, bringing her legs up with him, still hooked over his shoulders, and kissed her again. At this angle, he could drag the head of his cock against her pussy, bumping over her clit and sliding through her folds, and he did, slowly. “You’re not gonna be too sensitive? And I thought trolls all had dicks, too.” He wondered briefly about a condom, but decided it probably wasn’t important. If Rose didn’t mention it, it wasn’t a big deal.

“I’ll be okay, as long as you let me stay over. And they do, I just have a really sensitive gag reflex. I can barely brush my tongue without throwing up.” She said, her voice a little jumpy as he brushed against her clit a few times. She reached down and took a hold of his dick, leading it to press into her  _ finally,  _ and his mind went blank for a few seconds. “Next time, I’ll bring my strap, if you want.”

John moved her legs down to around his hips, since he needed to lean over her and that was probably pretty uncomfortable for her legs, and started to move, just slowly. “I, uh. I don’t know, Rose. I’ve never done anything with my ass, either.” He leaned back, and planted one foot back on the floor for a better angle as he moved, and then zoned out watching his cock sink into her and pull back for a few seconds. “Fuck. I c-could try, I mean. I’m open to it, because this is pretty great!”

Rose giggled gently, and he shuddered at the way she fluttered around him, gripping her thigh a little tighter. As he kept moving, he slid that hand up her leg, to spread her open and rub his thumb lazily against her clit, circling it when he had the mind but mostly just keeping her held open for a better view while he moved. Both of Rose’s hands were on her chest, groping her breasts with no real rush, but when she noticed him watching, she held a hand up to him, smiling.

“High-five.” He said, slapping his palm against hers, and she snorted, her head falling back while she grabbed at his wrist blindly. She kept laughing, trailing off into little moans because he didn’t stop moving, and pulled his hand down to her chest. “Was that not what you were going for?”

She shook her head, her hand still over his, and looked back at him with her bright purple eyes half-lidded. “No, I wasn’t planning on it, b-uhh, but it was k-kind of perfect. Fuck, it, it’ll keep this from being too weird.” She breathed, still smiling, and he didn’t feel so bad for not stopping.

All her reactions were good, the way she licked her lips before biting the bottom one and arched into his hand on her chest and the way her legs shifted and pulled to drag him in closer, and it all felt good. This was his friend, and she was really fucking hot, and he was fucking his really fucking hot friend, and she liked it, so what was there to worry about? All his other friends had been hooking up for months before he even approached anyone about it as a possibility, and Rose was kind of one of his first crushes.

This was fine. Good, in fact! He had to stop feeling her up to lean over her, kissing her as well as he could around them both panting for breath and making little noises, and she held the back of his neck like she wanted to keep him there, so he stayed. Her lips were wet, and the thought of her tasting herself on his tongue made him twitch, made him put both feet on the floor to move harder. 

Their skin connecting made kind of sticky slaps, and his hips were getting sore, but Rose was starting to bend her chest up and stretch her legs out again, and now he was close enough to hear every tiny noise she made. A lot of them were actually his  _ name,  _ and that was unspeakably hot, so he got a little more energy just from that. His mouth moved to bite at her collarbone, and she got tighter around him, just on the edge of orgasm, both her hands gripping too tight to let go; one at the back of his neck and the other on his bed. He focused his hand movements, and ground his hips against hers, hopefully still pushing against the spot she had told him to before.

“Oh! God! Fuck!” She yelped, her voice high and much, much louder, and she dug her nails into the back of his neck as she came, her thighs tense as she wrapped every limb around him, her insides clenching in irregular patterns and her forehead pressed to his shoulder. “J-John!”

He started thrusting again, breathing harder, because he was just about there, and she went loose-limbed and shivery under him, her hands holding his wrists while he held her hips, giving himself a better angle to watch his cock sinking into her. As he pulled back each time, she gushed around him, dripping onto the pillow under her and making a messy, wet sound with each thrust, and twitching all over. Around her bitten bottom lip, though, she was grinning, breathing praise at him weakly.

“R-Rose, uh, should I pull out?” He really should have asked sooner, he could already feel his stomach tightening as he got closer to coming. But he did have a lot of stuff to think about, like her around him and her voice and how good it felt!

She moaned, still loud and lewd, when she fully opened her mouth to speak, and he caught on that she was making herself quiet, which was actually really cute. “N-no, no, just, keep going, it’s fine, it’s good.” Her voice was a little rough, and he nodded, moving as fast as he had to.

It didn’t take much longer before he was shuddering, pounding into her pussy a few more times before bottoming out, curled over her to the point that her entire lower half was lifted off the bed so he could grind into her as deeply as possible, his cock twitching as he came. He kissed her sloppily while he came down, shivering all over, and slowly pulled back to set her back against the bed, breathing hard.

“Hey, John.” Rose breathed, looking at him like she was too comfortable to even lift her head. He met her eyes, and then looked at where she had her hand lifted, his post-nut brain completely fried. “High-five?”

He laughed, and slapped her hand, flopping onto the bed next to her with a groan. “That was definitely worth one. Do you want some water, or anything?” He asked, only halfway sitting up. “I’m gonna get it from the bathroom, so like, fair warning for sink water.”

From the doorway, he heard a soft, almost embarrassed laugh, and looked over just in time to see Kanaya pretend to not have been looking. “I brought you both some water. And chased everyone out, before you got too noisy. Hello, my Rose.” She said, walking into the bedroom while John struggled to find something to cover himself with.

“K-Kanaya, yeah, uh, hey, you’re, is this okay? Like, this is okay?” He asked, looking between them while they smirked, Rose sipping out of one of the water bottles Kanaya had brought in. She handed the other one over, and sat down at the edge of the bed, still smiling placidly. “Rose said it was, and I believe you! I just, uh. This feels kind of weird.”

Kanaya shrugged. “I’m fine with it. It’s not like I don’t have other partners, myself, so I have no reason to be upset. It’s normal for trolls, and Rose told me that for her, it’s also normal. As long as she’s happy, I am.” She said, looking to Rose with so much love in her eyes that John felt like he was intruding, just by being there.

“Okay. Cool. Yeah. You can stay over, too, obviously. I’ll, uh, I can take the couch.” He said, reaching down to pull on his boxers to cover up a little, and then stopping when Kanaya also stood up. “And get new sheets…?”

“My wife likes being the little spoon, so there’s no reason that you couldn’t sleep here, too. Unless it’s uncomfortable for you, I mean.” She offered, slipping her shirt on when Kanaya handed it to her. Rose’s wife nodded in agreement, and John felt a little out-numbered. “It’ll be warmer in the bed, though.”

He sat back down. “Yeah, that’s fine. I think we should change the sheets, though. And the bathroom’s open, if you want a shower.” He said, and Rose shuffled out to clean up, while Kanaya and he changed the sheets.

And by the time they were all tucked in together, his legs just barely curled enough to touch the backs of Rose’s thighs and Rose’s chest pressed firmly to Kanaya’s back, he didn’t actually think it felt weird anymore. It was warm, and comfy, and he was tired; what more did he need from a bed?

When he woke up to them both out of bed and cooking, he might worry he was leaning on them too much, but that was a concern for the morning John, not this one.

**Author's Note:**

> that was fun! this was a commission for a friend of mine. 
> 
> rose and john are cute together, I love them so much!


End file.
